I have been in a frightfully sour mood most of today and yesterday, with noticeable windows. It seems to me this mood is due directly to money, or lack there of, and specifically, bad accounting practices on my part. It’s also due to having done a temporary job that involved driving all over three counties for a couple of days, and referencing sometimes inaccurate directions as part of the tasks required. And all together, I was very busy for several days, resulting in not enough time and attention on the details of sustaining my existence.
The result is irritability spilling over into a number of areas of my life. Interestingly, it doesn’t take much to recenter myself. Nor does it take much to un-center myself. I go to yoga and I’m feeling calm and centered. I come home and dirty dishes or what have you throws me off immediately. And yet, largely, I feel kind of ok underneath it all. I can, however, feel that a bit of wallowing in my state would bring me down quite readily.
So, I just downloaded the Sounds True album, “The Jewel of Awakening.” It’s their free holiday gift to Eckhart Tolle TV affiliated peeps I guess. I listened to the ET talk (which ended quite abruptly, but hey, it was free). It was helpful. Now I really feel the calm waters underneath, even though there are waves on top.
Wow, peace. Definitely a much preferred state. It’s amazing how there is really a lot of me that clings to states that are decidedly not peaceful, but scoffs at the suggestion of trying something else that might lead back to peace. And yet, those same parts are so desirous of something different from the present state.
